The only way is (being managed) up!

The sign you needed today...

Siobhan Meaker, Director and Co-Founder of Better Strategic Consultancy, considers how leaders can shape managing up to feel like a partnership and not a mismatch.

There must be something in the coffee beans of late, because managing up keeps bubbling up in my conversations.

An ex-team member asked me about it over a latte, two old colleagues raised it (between forkfuls of delicious brunch pancakes), and even clients have dropped it into meetings. Everyone seems to want the secret to managing up without either turning into a sycophant or collapsing into a darkened photocopier room afterwards.

And this a leadership issue. If your people are constantly working out how to manage you, then maybe there’s something you could be doing differently to make that relationship easier, healthier, and better for the business.

The truth? Everyone has to manage upwards at some point. The real question for senior leaders is: are you the kind of leader who makes it worth the effort, or the kind who accidentally drains the life out of people trying?

So, here’s my values-led take on managing up, through the lens of what it means for you, when you’re the one in the leadership role.

Think partnership, not power play

Flattery might feel nice in the moment, but it wears thin pretty fast. What your people need from you is not another hoop to jump through, but clarity about where you’re headed and how they can contribute.

So be upfront: What does good look like, for you and for them? Share that picture and make it a joint project. Then “managing up” stops being a guessing game, and starts feeling more like partnership.

Context and curiosity

If we’re being honest as leaders, there will be occasions that our work requests won’t make much sense to the team.

By opening up the ‘why’ behind your asks and adding some context, you give people more to work with. A simple, ‘Here’s why this matters and what I need to deliver. What do you need to make this happen?’ invites curiosity and sparks a discussion that often leads to a better outcome.

Celebrate the wins, not just the woes

Leaders often underestimate how little their team hears “this is working brilliantly.” And here’s the kicker, they’re not only looking to you for recognition, but also for permission to share what’s going well upwards.

If you model gratitude and make space for your people to tell you when things are working, you’ll get a healthier balance. And when the tougher stuff inevitably comes up, it’ll land in the context of genuine trust, not an endless list of woes.

Make it easy to ask, easy to answer

Managing up takes confidence, and you can lower the barrier.

If your team needs a decision, notice whether you’re making them do three laps of the track before you’ll say yes. Encourage them to come with options, and show them what makes a request easier for you to respond to. It’s not about being a soft touch, it’s about reducing friction, so things move quicker for everyone.

Boundaries go both ways

Managing up isn’t about people quietly shouldering the impossible. It’s about honest conversations about capacity.

When someone tells you, “I can do this, but then something else has to give,” don’t punish that honesty. Match it. Show your own boundaries. It gives everyone permission to prioritise with purpose instead of playing the hero.

Managing up is a mirror

At the end of the day, managing up is about mutual respect, curiosity, empathy and communication. And as a leader, it’s worth asking yourself: what does it take for someone to manage up with me? Am I making it easier, or harder than it needs to be?

Because when “managing up” feels like partnership instead of pain, culture thrives, strategy sticks and everyone wins – especially your beneficiaries. And yes, a well-timed kind word or a nice thing on a Monday still goes a very, very long way.

At Better, Claire and I work with leaders who want more than quick fixes, they want relationships, strategies and cultures that thrive. If you’re ready to turn “managing up” from a headache into a healthy habit for your whole organisation, we’d love to explore it with you. Drop us an email at info@betterconsult.co.ukor use our contact form to book in for an exploratory call.